It has been about a month since Alex got out of the hospital, I am still there helping him whenever he needs it, whether it's for physical or emotional help, I am there by his side. There have been nights I have cried myself to sleep after he has gone to sleep, praying that he gets well soon, not because I don't want to help him but because I want to be able to walk with him again and hold hands instead of him being in that damn wheelchair. I cry because he hurts and there isn't much I can do to help ease the pain, except be there for him. We have made love many times since he came home, we have been VERY careful about how we do it but we still manage it, very well.
I awoke this morning with Alex beside me as always, where I am the one who is usually awake first this morning he beat me, looking up I see him smiling down at me and just staring.
"Morning beautiful," he says in a sweet low voice.
"Morning yourself handsome, how long have you been awake?" I asked knowing for at least 20 minutes because the sleep has left his eyes.
"Oh about an hour, I love to look at you sleep you are beautiful when you are laying there, you look so peaceful," he said smiling down at me, I lean up and start to kiss him; he always tastes good no matter when he gets up. About that time there is a knock on the door and someone comes in.
"AHHH not again come on you two it is WAY to early for that," Wil, Alex's brother says, we just giggle and lay in bed. It is a Saturday morning, and we are at Alex's house.
"Nope never to early to cuddle and kiss," I said smiling at him. Wil smiled back and walked out; even though he teases us we know he's just kidding. He doesn't mind, he has seen how we are and he knows how we love each other. Wil is only home for this coming week, before he heads back to school, he cares for Alex and me very much. One day we were all in the mall and some punk apparently from our school tried to start some problems until he saw Wil. Wil has gained a lot of muscles over the last month and has been working out heavily, so when this guy saw Wil he stepped back and left, I can't believe with just one look he walked away, I loved it.
We finally got out of bed with me helping Alex and getting him to his bathroom. He hates the fact that I have to help him but I don't mind, I love him, so it makes no difference to me. We finished our business in the bath and start to head downstairs. Now here is where things get sticky; I am not strong enough to lift him up like he is strong enough to lift me. I didn't want to call anyone because I know they must be getting tired of having to help us and I know they must be getting upset at me for not being strong enough, I have never said these things out loud but that's how I feel. I am thinking about the best way to help him down the stairs when his father and brother come up. I move out of the way and let them carry him downstairs, I just stay there for a minute not knowing what to say, or do; I felt so helpless right then. After they got him downstairs in his wheelchair he turned and looked up at me, he was smiling then had a puzzled look on his face.
"You coming down?" he asked me, I just stared at him for a minute.
"Umm yeah, just give me a minute, ok?" I said turning away not wanting him to see my tears of shame, I walked back to his room, closed his door and lay on the bed and started crying. I felt so helpless I can't help carry him or lift him; I am weak and puny, even though I have been working out with him and his brother I haven't gained any real muscle, my body wasn't made for muscle, I am slim and almost like glass. Well that's how I feel at any rate.
I start crying harder and then I hear the door jiggle, I calm down and turn away from the door as it opens, I don't look to see who it is now sitting on the bed or who it is that rubs my back, I'm too ashamed to look at anyone right now.
"Honey what's wrong?" asked Mrs. Daniels I just lay there not saying anything and silently crying. "Let me guess, is it because you can't help take Alex down the stairs? Do you think that since you can't do that and help him move around in certain areas that you aren't strong enough for him?" she asked me. I just started shaking and nodding my head yes.
"Aww honey, don't worry Alex knows what you are feeling, believe it or not he does. He said when he looked in your eyes when you were standing at the top of the stairs that's what you were thinking. Just because you aren't physically strong doesn't mean you aren't strong, you are the one who pushes him in his exercises and his therapy. He told me that you are probably upset thinking that we think you are helpless and can't help him," she said. I just nodded.
She made me sit up and took me in her arms, "Oh honey, none of that matters, we know you are strong for him and we know you are doing the best you can. Don't worry, we don't mind helping carry him and move him when you can't. You're the one that helps him in the bathroom, and to help clean him, you have taken care of him, time and time again, we only help when we have too and we don't mind, I know you must be tired and exhausted all the time but you don't show it and you battle on, that's real strength Alex knows this; he's actually more scared that you are getting so tired of doing so much that you just want to leave and be by yourself, did you know that?" I shook my head.
"I don't mind helping him; I love it and I love him. I don't care how tired I get I just hate the fact I am not strong enough to help move him and I feel that there isn't anything I can really do to help him." I said crying into her shoulder, she held me tight I felt a hand on my shoulder but didn't look up, I thought it was Mr. Daniels at first till I felt a kiss on my neck. I looked up into Alex's eyes, he was smiling at me, slowly he bent down and brushed his lips against mine, I blushed because I was still in his mom's arms but right then I didn't care.
"Brett I love you and to me you are strong enough. You have helped me through so much and I don't think I would have survived if not for you, you may think you are physically not capable of caring for me by picking me up and maybe you're not but you are stronger in other ways, ways I am not, between us we make one person, me the strong physical half and you the emotional half, you are my other half, Brett, and without you there is no me. You have shown me through your love all that I need to be strong, YOU Brett make me strong, that is how I go on, and you do make a difference my parents know you can only help me so much trying to move me around they don't mind helping the rest of the way, let me guess you think that physically you are small and weak and you can't help, well you are wrong, to me you are strong and big, not weak," he said looking into my eyes.
While he was talking he got himself on the bed, I turned and hugged him and buried my face in his neck and cried tears of happiness, I felt the bed weight lift and heard the door close, Alex kept his arms around me. I lifted my head and he smiled at me, I smiled back and kissed him.
We left the room a few hours later, his dad and brother came up and got him, this time I followed them down the stairs.
It was about noon now and we were hungry. I went into the kitchen and made us some sandwiches and got us a few sodas, when I returned to the living room he was sitting on the couch, smiling at me. I gave him his food and sat next to him. We ate then finished watching TV. For the day we stayed in except when his parents made us go out back. Wil helped Alex down the back stairs and I carried the wheelchair we got him settled in and tossed a football back and forth.
Around 3:00 that afternoon Billy W and Jamie came over, we all sat under the shade of a tree and just talked.
"Well guess what happened Friday at school," started Billy, Jamie started blushing and it made me wonder.
"What?" Alex and I both asked at the same time. We looked at each other and started giggling. Jamie was still blushing but smiling and had his arms around Billy's waist as Billy snuggled up to him.
"Well, we were in the cafeteria talking and eating, when this new boy came in, he was maybe 5'7, big, with black hair and these awesome blue eyes. Well me and Jamie were sitting with our friends discussing the next GSBA meeting and what we were going to plan when this boy came over to our table and looked at us, I asked him if I could help him and he said maybe were we the local fags at the school, well I just stared at him in shock and kinda got scared well Jamie here got pissed, he stood up and looked at this boy and said yeah, why."
"Well, the boy started saying that he was new here and at his old school they beat up faggots and he was going to do that here to make sure that normal kids could go here. I started laughing about then, what he didn't know is that the football team a few of the ones that were there last year and the new ones were standing right behind, him."
"Jamie just smiled and said, no, dude you aren't because you have to mess with the football team. This kid started laughing saying that he was on the football team at his old school and once he got on this one he was going to make sure we got hurt."
"He was laughing when Mike from the team tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around I think the new boy paled because standing there was the WHOLE football team, Mike just looked at him and with a smile on his face shook his head, he asked what was going on and I told him and he laughed and said, oh really, well I think we need to have a little chat."
"He told the new boy that the football team protected the gay kids and that if he wanted to keep going to school here and if he even wanted to try out for the team that he would have to change his attitude real quickly. The new kid said why are you protecting a bunch of fairies? Mike just grabbed him and looked him real mean in the face and told him if I hear you say anything else mean or derogatory about gays again then he was personally going to kick his ass."
"The boy just turned to us and I nodded my head about that time Jamie turned me to face him, made me stand up and in front of the new kid, kissed me. And I mean what a kiss I saw stars, OMG I didn't want to stop but someone clearing their throat made us, we turned and saw the Principal, apparently he heard about what this new kid, said, well we just smiled shyly and sat back down and he grabbed the boy by the collar and told him, to come to his office and talk about his future at that school."
"The football team then sat down with us and we all had a good time, of course they had to tease my love about that kiss," Billy said giggling, he turned to Jamie and Jamie was blushing something big, I told him not to worry that Alex has done that to me and that made Jamie feel a lot better.
After about an hour the boys left and me and Alex went back inside, this time his dad came and got him and I followed with the wheelchair, when we got inside my parents were there and I went and kissed and hugged them as did Alex, they asked him how he was doing and he said, thanks to me, much better, I blushed and looked down and they kinda giggled at me, but I smiled back shyly, Alex came up to me made me look down at him (hey he is still in a wheelchair) and brought my lips down to his, the kiss he gave me was so strong that I went limp kneed and slowly sank to the floor, after the kiss I just stared at him with everyone laughing at me, at that point I didn't care. I hugged Alex and just hung on till they said dinner was ready.
The following week at school everything was going well, Alex was getting better the kids were being nice and even the teachers were being nice, I wish I knew why everyone was being so nice to me, then it happened, I figured it out. One day at lunch the football team put up a banner announcing the first gay/straight club at the school, and named Alex and I as the president and vice president, wow what a day, everyone clapped and we agreed to it. I couldn't believe that this was happening.
After the first meeting a few more kids came out and things started getting better at the school. There were still a few bullies that came and like always they went.
The first dance after Alex got his cast off was the spring dance, we went and it was so beautiful. I don't know who told the DJ, but during the dance they played 'I Need You Tonight,' by the Back Street Boys. Billy S and Jarad danced, that was their song, and so Alex and me got everyone off of the floor. The whispering started about why and when the song ended everyone clapped to their embarrassment. They came up thanked us and gave us a kiss on the cheek. Near the end of the dance the DJ played 'This I Promise You' by N'Sync somehow everyone knew that this was mine and Alex's song and this time no one ever came on the floor.
Alex held me tight and I looked into his eyes as the song played and he sang it to me. I remember tears coming down, they were tears of happiness for our love and our life, through all of the pain and sorrow we have been there together and to this day we are still together.
Eric and Brian stayed together throughout high school then went their separate ways, they stayed close friends but each found a partner that they loved more than anything and stayed with them till this day.
Eric got a degree in biochemistry and is working for a company making over a million a year.
Brian got his degree in computer science and is working for one of the largest computer agencies in the US.
Billy S, and Jarad have stayed together. They went to the same college, Billy got his degree in Computer Programming and Jarad got his degree in Medicine and is in Medical school becoming a doctor.
Billy W, and Jamie have also remained together. They're in their first year in college at AASU in Savannah, they have their own apartment and their parents are helping them with the rent as they work and go to school. They went to Hawaii after high school with their families and got married, they are happy together and want to both work to get a degree in Psychology to help gay teens.
Alex and myself are still together. The summer after high school me, Alex both of our families, Billy S, Jarad, Billy W, Jamie there families, Eric, Brian and the football teams all went up to Vermont to see our wedding. We got married up in Vermont and the vows we said we would stay with us through it all.
"You are my soul mate, I will love you
Till the end of Time,
You have shown me and given me love
For now till eternity I will be with you forever
If you were to live forever let me live forever less
One day so that I may never have to Know the
Pain of life without you."
Those were our vows to each other and to this day we hold them tightly. We have both graduated. My degree is in history with a teacher's certificate and I am now teaching at a private school. I'm the teacher advisor to the school's first Gay and Straight club.
Alex got a major in phys ed, he is at the same private school as me and is the football coach. We have been together for 10 years and as it looks we will be together forever.
I hope you have all enjoyed this story. I have enjoyed writing it and seeing how things turn out. I know most of you wanted this to continue but like all good things there must be some end, it is not really over because they will always be available to read, and if you can use your imagination you yourself can see what happens with them.
Please let me know what you think of this story, I am going to try and start a new one shortly. Please e-mail all comments to: Pyro@hfs.cjb.net Flames will be ignored
Thank you all for reading my story P :-)