I would like to thank Sid for his help in editing, and Jeff and David for their input and their help in this story.
Sitting on the hill and watching the sunset is one of the most brilliant things a person can experience. I should know I'm sitting here watching it now; the question is why am I sitting here. Well that is because I'm gay. Yes I know that doesn't seem like it's a big deal to most of you but to me it is.
You see my name is Billy Mathews; I just turned 14 and a freshman at the local high school. I'm actually kinda short for my age, I'm only 5'4 and I weigh maybe 110lbs. I have dark red hair and blue eyes. I have a dusting of freckles under my eyes and over my nose.
I'm sitting here thinking of how to tell my family. You see we have an open door policy at our house. If you ever have a question or need to say something no matter what it is my sister and I can always go to our parents and we can talk about anything. It's kinda cool to be able to do that. Whenever I had a question about sex I just went to my dad and asked him if we could talk. He took me to his office shut the door and sat down, then let me ask him anything I wanted. He explained the birds and the bees to me, and it was kinda cool. He told me about all types of sex, and what they mean.
I knew my parents would be cool with me being gay and all, I'm just not sure how to tell them, but I feel that I must.
I have a best friend and I know I could talk to him I'm just not sure how he would respond. I don't think it would be that bad, but I'm not sure.
My best friends name is Ben Woods and he is 15. Ben is about 5'9 and 150lbs. He has dark blonde hair and blue eyes. He is really hot but I don't know if I could ever date him. Don't get me wrong I like him but I don't love him past being a brother.
Ben and I have jacked off together and talk about the girls, well he did most of the talking and I just agreed. As I said I like him and all but I think we would only be best friends and nothing more.
Other then me there is just my sister Joy, she is 10 and pretty cool for a girl. She basically looks just like me, just shorter and with longer hair.
I know you must be wondering what my parent's look like well my dad is tall he is 6'5 and 220lbs but it is muscle not fat. He has red hair and blue eyes as well.
My mom is actually short like me; she is about 5'6 and 110lbs as well. She also has red hair and blue eyes. That's really all there is in my family.
So now you know who's who and all and you also know why I'm sitting here. I just don't know how to tell them. Should I just tell them or prepare the ground first. I just don't know.
Well it is almost 9 o'clock and It's time I head home. Well here goes nothing.
I walk in and my mom is getting dinner prepared and my dad is reading the newspaper. My sister Joy is just watching the TV. I walk up to my dad and just stare at him for a minute.
He finally looks up and smiles at me. He sets the paper down and just waits for me.
"Umm dad, do you think that after dinner you, mom and me can sit down and talk? There's something I need to tell you two." I asked.
"Sure son anything the matter?" he asked. I took a deep breath.
"No sir not really. I just need to tell you two some stuff." I said.
"Ok no problem." He said turning back to his paper.
We ate at 9 then dad, mom and myself all went into his study to talk. My mom and dad sat on the couch and I stood in front of them. I took a deep breath and looked at them. They waited patiently.
"Mom, dad what I have to tell you isn't easy, and I hope you still love me after I tell you. No mom please don't talk I have to say this before you say anything or I won't be able to ok. Well you see, ummm the thing is, I'm gay." There I said it now all I have to do is wait.
Mom started crying and dad just sat there looking dumb founded. All of a sudden dad got up and just looked at me with hate in his eyes.
"YOU'RE WHAT? How dare you come in here and say something like that. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW." He hollered at me. I was frozen to the spot and the next thing I knew I was on the floor with a busted lip. My dad just hit me. I couldn't believe it. My dad stood there looking at his hand and then at me.
Dad just stood there with a weird look on his face, like he couldn't believe that he hit me. He started moving towards me and I jumped up pushed him on the couch and bolted out the office door then the front door. I heard the door slam shut and the little pains of glass shatter.
I heard someone screaming my name then a screech. I felt some air under me then heard a dull thud. I thought I saw some lights but I wasn't sure, I also thought I heard some screaming but I just wasn't coherent enough to make out anything.
Was that my dad's voice I heard. I wasn't sure. All I could remember was this darkness coming out towards me.
"Clear we got his heart back, 4 cc's of morphine, cim 7, and cbc, blood type and cross match." This voice said. I didn't hear anything else after that.
I don't know how long I was out and I couldn't feel anything, the only thing I knew was that one moment I was in a total blackness and the next I was in the open plain on my hill. I was there by myself and I was feeling free and relaxed.
I was by myself for a few minutes when another boy about my age and height came up to me. He was part black and part white. He had light caramel skin and brown eyes. His hair was part blond and brown with tight curls and it made him look very hot. He sat down next to me and just stared out.
"Hi I'm Darren Anderson who are you?' he asked me. I just smiled at him.
"I'm Billy Matthews, nice to meet you. Why are you here?" I asked him.
"I don't know I'm just here. It's real nice and peaceful here." He said.
"Yeah it is." I replied. We just sat there and stared at the sun as it set over the next hill.
We sat there for a few more minutes then I laid back and closed my eyes, the next thing I knew I was hurting and I slowly opened my eyes.
"OH MY GOD he opened his eyes." Someone said. The light was hurting them so I closed my eyes immediately and I couldn't see who it was that said it.
I heard some noise and someone that sounded like a doctor talking and asking me question. My mouth was dry and I couldn't speak. The only thing I knew is that I hurt and I could barely move.
"Well it looks like he is finally waking up, he will be in and out of consciousness for a while but he will be waking up soon. After he is fully awake then we will tell him the rest." Said the voice.
'Rest, rest of what?' 'Oh well I'll have to wait and see' I just relaxed and closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
I don't know how long I was going in and out of sleep but I know it was a long time. I know that there were people coming and going out of where ever I was a lot of the time. Finally one day I just had to open my eyes and look for myself as to what was going on.
I don't know what day it was or when it was but I slowly opened my eyes remembering that the last time the light hurt it. As I opened my eyes, I looked up and noticed the ceiling and then noticed I had wires coming and going to me.
I tried to turn my head and I had problems doing so, my neck seemed stiff and sore. I overcame the stiffness and slowly turned my head towards the left. I noticed my mom and dad asleep in some chairs there, and my little sister asleep on a roll away bed.
'Why are they here?' I asked myself. I still didn't know what happened or know how I got here. I saw a nurse walk in and come towards me she wasn't looking at me till she got right up next to me then she saw I had my eyes open. She smiled at me.
"Hey there, how are you doing?" she asked me. I tried to talk but nothing would come out and my throat hurt. She noticed this and grabbed a cup from the table next to the bed and had me sip it. "Here this will help you, your throat is sore because you haven't talked in a long time, and we had a tube down your throat to help you breath." She said. I just looked at her and nodded my head, it hurt but I was able to do it.
"W...Wh...Where...a...am...I?" I was able to barely get out. She smiled at me again.
"You're in the hospital, you're at Memorial." She said, about that time my parents and sister woke up.
"Oh my God he's awake." Said my mom coming up to me and taking my hand. My dad came up next to her and put his arm around her and smiled at me. He reached out his hand to me then stopped.
When my dad came up to my mom I started remembering that he hit me, and told me to get out. I got angry and just stared at him. He slowly let his hand drop by his side and started crying he tried to say something but I turned my head from his side to the other and noticed that I couldn't hear out of it. Good I didn't want to hear anything he had to say to me.
A few minutes later the doctor came in and had everyone get out while he examined me. He started poking and prodding and asking if I was hurting anywhere other then my throat or neck.
"No sir" I was able to get out. He smiled at me.
"Good I'm Doctor Bradshaw, Billy, I'm the one who has been taking care of you. You gave us a very big scare young man. I'm not going to lie to you Billy you were in bad condition and you have some problems now and there's not a whole lot we can do. Do you want your mom and dad in here when I tell you what all has happened?" he asked me.
I thought about it for a minute. "No sir I don't want anyone right now, and as far as I'm concerned I don't have any parents." I said. He nodded his head, and unbeknown to us my mom and dad heard what I said.
"Ok well I am going to start by saying we know why you ran out into the street, social services has already come and talked with your parents and they know about everything and are going to be keeping an eye on your family because of this. We know that your dad hit you and of course the bruise isn't there. You dad was very forthcoming when he told us what happened and he is sorry. I know you don't want to hear that but I had to say that.
Ok now onto your problems. First you were in a coma also by now I think that you have noticed that you can't hear out of your left ear. When the car hit you, you went in the air and landed on the left side of your body and you hit your head on the left side as well. Your eardrum got busted and your inner ear completely ruptured. We did ear surgery but there was no saving your hearing. Next when you landed you broke your arm and it is healed up now and the cast is off, the same with your left leg.
The next thing is the worst of it all. Billy I really don't know how to tell you this but you can't walk. The car hit you in the back and shattered you lower spine. We repaired what we could but there wasn't much else we can do for you. You will be in a wheel chair for the rest of your life."
I couldn't believe what he said I wouldn't walk again. How could this happen? My dad that is how, he was the one who did this. Not me, him.
"Are you sure doc?" I asked with tears running down my cheeks.
"Yes Billy I'm sure, the damage was just too severe. There isn't anything we can do; you are going to have to go through physical therapy for your left arm and to help you keep blood moving in your legs. I won't lie, it will hurt and be hard work but you have to do it. Are there any other questions you want answered? Or do you want me to just let your parents back in?" he asked.
About that time my mom and dad walked in the room, I looked at them then said.
"I don't have any parents anymore just a sister." He was trying to say something but I turned my left ear to him and shut him out. I didn't want to hear anything else he had to say and I sure as hell didn't want to hear anything my parents wanted to say.
To me my life is over and there's nothing left. I don't know what to do now and I don't know what to say to anyone. I don't even know how long I have been here, and right now I don't care at all.